Our Generation's Obsession

A Woman's Shortcomings

Unless you can love, as the angels may, With the breadth of heaven betwixt you; Unless you can dream that his faith is fast, Through behoving and unbehoving; Unless you can die when the dream is past - Oh, never call it loving!

~Elizabeth Browning

Love - the obsession of our generation, the overvalued and yet often demeaned emotion of our times. What is the nature of love? Truly, yours truly would not even dare suggest an answer because who in the world can really know what is love. No one. Love is meant to be felt, to be given, to be received but not to be understood. Yours truly, being ridiculously never-been-attached and never-been-attracted-before, has no way of knowing whether love is indeed as the great poets has claimed, but at least I sincerely believe from observation and reflection, that love is irrational, unable to be grasped or defined.

Why is romantic love so much valued over other types of love? I've read somewhat that romantic love is the emotion that can drive one to great depths of despair and yet at the same time, to great heights of bliss and such extreme swing of depths is missing in other loves. In other words, people of our generation would die for romantic love but rare is the one who will die for family and friends. Perhaps that is why Romeo & Juliet is one of the most remembered plays of our times? Perhaps that is why Titanic had such a ridiculous following? Tragic. I mean, if the run-of-the-mill love that I see in the average couples you find around you (my close friends excluded, of cos, for fear of being *murdered by them *grin*), then I think I would rather give love a miss and settle for steadfast kinship or comforting friendship. I mean, most couples I met never have that depth of emotion that romantic love has been exaggerated to contain. Perhaps, if one seriously reflected on it, it's merely companionship and lust rather than love? Perhaps it's just comfortable to have someone rather than being alone? Perhaps what is labeled as love today is merely a facade to hide loneliness? I have no idea since I'm uniquely unqualified to judge love. But yours truly just wanted to point out that I have not seen or felt from any couple a love that is all encompassing, all accepting and in its acceptance, made an individual a better person, a stronger person.

For the sake of discussion, let's assume love can be dissected into bits. What constitutes the bits? I mean, I suppose companionship and lust are part of the ingredients that make up love. But beyond them, what is the X-factor that makes one call an emotion love and not something else. Love, such a simple word but such complicated meaning. Love, such a frightening word. I mean, if love cannot be understood, if love is indeed a certain blindness, a certain, I-can't-help-myself, a "head over heads, can't sleep, can't eat" type of feeling, perhaps we or at least, I would rather dwell on LUST or SEX instead. I mean such simple words, such simple meanings. No complications, no fuss, no mess. But perhaps, no happiness or no bliss? I dun know.

Perhaps someday, someone can convince me that love is noble, that love is indeed as the great poets say, a leap of faith, a beyond comprehension impulse, a beyond this world bliss. That love is not merely lust or fear of loneliness but a desire, a yearning, a soulmate that completes one. But until then, let's not call superficial emotions love. But until then, let's just agree that the world is driven more by mere lust and egoism in the need to dress SEX up. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against lust, passion or sex. They sound fun and exciting and so much more manageable. I just have a problem with people who dress up their needs and sex drive in wrappings of love.

I have seen selfish lonely people mutually torturing each other in ties they call love but which seems to me, merely chains of self-centeredness and a need to satisfy lust. Come on, what is wrong with mere lust? Nothing. So why dress it up in order to hide one's natural inclination? Why the need to abuse and torture each other in the name of love?

So until someone or some couple let me feel that what they have is "the silver link, the silken tie", the love as angels may, let's not call it love.

At least for today. At least for this moment.

Let me believe that there is more to love than what I see around me.

I want to believe.

Don't you?