Heartbreak, Effortless bitterness....or not

Jerk

You pestered and pestered
Persisted and persisted
Insisted and insisted
Till my defenses crumbled
Till my walls are breached

Then you say you mean nothing
Then you say it's all a joke
Then you say it's just fun
Then you say it's over

Leaving only
Me.

You jerk.

Kel. 10 August 2004.

What's the best way to get over heartbreak? Eat? Shop till you drop? Stay at home and mope? Or just cry it all out or perhaps, laugh? Laugh till you have no mirth left, laugh till you are empty, laugh till you forget? Then once it's all out of your system, you fill the emptiness with what you have left to be thankful for? The once happy memories? Your ever supportive friends? Your family? Your books? Your beloved soft toys? The trees and the birds? The fact that you're healthy and alive?

I really have no idea. Perhaps some people prefer to cry or curse their ex-s? I really don't care which method is used. So long as it's effective. So long as after all the drama, all the self-pity (very justified, of course), all the heartache, you pick yourself up and move on. Speaking without experience, I suppose I can't give good suggestions but it seems to me, remembering his/her badness causes bitterness while remembering the once happy memories bring forgiveness and with it, letting go? I recently read this quote "love turns with little effort to indifference. Only hatred alone is immortal". I disagree. I agree that most people remember bad memories, emotions and experiences more than they do the happy ones simply because negative emotions appear to make a stronger impression. But like everything else, I believe it is a choice. Choose to remember the happy ones; choose to forget the bad ones. Choose to forgive rather than to hate. I know, easier said than done. But hey, whoever said living was easier? Whoever said happiness is easy? And between effortless bitterness and putting effort into being happy, isn't it wiser to choose the latter? And yours truly would like she is wise. (No giggling, please)

Ok sentiments aside, back to cold hearted hard headed bitch talk. Please for evilness' sake, keep your finances clear and clean. In other words, no matter how in love you are, don't don't combine finances, don't pay for your ex's mobile lines, bills, etc. I know I know, what's money between a couple? But really, imagine if you had to break up, it's terrible enough to get over the heartache without worrying about whether the stupid jerk would pay his/her bills or would you have to pay it for him/her. What a tragedy. You can't even enjoy your heartbreak in peace without fretting about mundane monetary matters. Although I doubt such advice would be taken by most people, because once in a relationship, in love, most people just seems to want to combine finances. Please don't get me wrong, I don't mean you should be miserly and never ever give your other half a present or pay for his/her dinner, etc. I just mean its much easier all way round if finances are kept tidy. I mean even between husbands and wives, finances are likely to be a source of conflict, let alone in a mere relationship?

But probably I'm just being my suspicious and overly rationalistic self. *shrug* What to do? I'm just made this way. Thank you whoever up there that is responsible. *clasp my hands in sincere gratitude* But really, between bread and love, why must we muddy up the lines? Why must we choose between bread and love, when we can with effort, have both? Really, some people are just so strange. Or is it just me again? *dryly*

Finally, although I support the method of laughing, forgiving and moving on, that is solely for the person with the heartbreak. For said person's friends, please, feel free to curse and swear at the jerk ex. Please support your friends undergoing such pain, even at extent of losing all impartiality (after all, that's what friends are for?) and forgetting that in a breakup, blame is on more than one party. Although sometimes, the blame is completely utterly one-sided. Yes, I'm biased. So sue me. *arched brows*

It is now official. Dear *bouncy is free and available once again. Good riddance. Henceforth, in this blog, MR HIM IS KNOW AS THE JERK.