At a 1st *R meeting of XXX Company:
*Highest Ranking J: We are going to revamp the *R . (goes on to explain roles & heavy responsibilities of all the committee, led and coordinated by the Chairperson). I may be old but I’m not autocratic. Instead of having nomination like previously, we shall have volunteers. So if any one has a desire to be the Chairperson, voice out.
(looks ard. Everyone in complete silence)
I mean, everyone is so enthusiastic about forming the committee (earlier on, everyone was asked their gut feelings on joining the committee), isn’t there any one who feels in his/her heart that he/she wants to be the chairperson? It doesn’t matter if one is an assistant or a manager or a director.
I mean for instance, *sheer here is so prepared by her directors to join the club. That’s very good.
(looks ard)
(stares right at *sheer but yours truly withstood his stares and assumed that he’s doing that to everyone in the room. I mean he doesn’t know me. So why would he put the silent pressure solely on me, right? Wrong! *roll eyes at myself*)
Well, I won’t name any names because that would be biased. Although, indirectly, I suppose I am hinting? *laughter from the room*
Okay, if no one speaks, I’ll ask the outgoing committee head, *J to elect. I mean, *J here is laughing so happily, I sure he already know who he wants in mind. So if you guys have no objection. *pause for answer*.
(Everyone agrees)
Ok, *J go ahead.
(At this point, yours truly thought she was safe, after all, she is the most junior in the whole room, and she does not even know any one. How could she possbily be dragged in by any one, let alone the Chairman she doesn't know? Besides, how could anyone possibly imagine a greenbie can lead the committee, being so new to the Company and promote inter-dept bonding when she knows no one in other departments?)
*J leads forward, looks right at *sheer and said: I’m sorry, what is your name?
*Sheer looks ard in confusion before replying: You mean me? My name? (*J nods) Oh….*@@@.
*J replies: I vote *@@@ as chairperson.
*Highest Ranking J smiles: Can I ask why did you pick *@@@?
*J replies……(yours truly is egoistic, but even then, it still would not do to repeat flattery. nodding earnestly)
*Highest Ranking J: Ok. I wouldn’t vote cos it wouldn’t be fair, but does anyone second the nomination?
(Immediately, the exiting committee members present seconded the nomination. New members follow with applause)
*Highest Ranking J asks *sheer if she was willing.
:::
Tell me, my dear friends, under that circumstances, do you ever think yours truly could say no?
pause.
Precisely, so now yours truly is saddled with the highest ranking post of the whole Committee for the welfare and benefit of the entire Company for the entire year. *grimace*. And before any one snickers, and say something like yours truly should have expected it, please allow me to tell you, yours truly is still in shock. How the heck did this happen?
It’s not as if I knew the people in the committee, since we are each “nominated” or rather, *coerced by our bosses in each departments. (yours truly tried to hint and once outright mentioned that she is not that keen and that *bubbly is more interested and enthusiastic, but guess what? Yours truly still had to attend the *R meeting, which pretty much tells you the outcome of her hints….maybe I was too subtle? *scowl*) Some of them knew each other, but yours truly is so new in the Company that I practically only know the people in my department and no one beyond the department. Moreover, it is not as if anyone in the room knows anything about my capabilities or lack thereof? So how did this happen? *in bewilderment*.
It must be a conspiracy. I tell you. *in a paranoid tone* They are really out to get me. *dryly*
Anyway, so the course is set. *deadpan*
I mentioned in reply to *snappish’s grumbles/anxiety on having to make a presentation tml that it can’t be worse than yours truly who is the newly *elected Chairperson, and have to host/organize meetings for the entire year.
*snappish predictably being one of my pals, was completely unsympathetic. She was AMUSED! D***. At times like this, dear evilness, I wished I believed in a more sympathetic being. *makes a face*
Ok. Now, just for laugh, here is a sample of my *acceptance speech, made in the way I assume Chairperson usually makes. Please just stop reading if you’re bored, since yours truly just wants to express her shock in many many words.
:::
To the Committee following yours truly’s *nomination & what she probably meant:
Dear Colleagues,
Thank you for taking time to attend the 1st *R Meeting of 2005, and for your willingness and enthusiasm in forming the new *R . (I believe most people were at least merely nonchalant, which is not that bad a start. What is amazing is that some people, not many, mind you, were actually really enthusiastic. *whistles.) I am not certain how and why I got the heavy responsibility of the Chairperson but since I am undertaking the position, I promise to do my best. (whymewhymewhyme? How did this happen?) With everyone’s effort, support and team work, I am certain we can have a successful year for *R ahead of us. (for evilness’ sake, please do more so I can do less)
On behalf of the new committee, I would like to express our gratitude to the exiting members of 2004 *R . (even though yours truly is wondering whether it is worth her while to attempt to knock out *J, the previous chairperson….even though he did apologize nicely for “sabotaging” me. What I don’t understand is why. Maybe I should just attempt murder & plead “ in the fit of the moment”?) We would try to follow in their lead, and hopefully, we can perform as well, if not better in the year ahead.
Warmest regards,
*@@@@
Chairperson
:::
Anyway, above is a shortened version of my acceptance speech. I know I know, too simple and maybe it should have been either more humble in the I need all your guidance air or more arrogant in the I am the best air, but yours truly is still in bemused state and this is all I could do on short notice. I think my grand announcement to the Company and the CEO is even briefer & simpler than this. *sigh*
On a positive note, *J is not too bad looking (I think *witchy would like him), my room is now nicely painted a lavender color and yours truly is going out tomorrow night. *shrug*
Still, what a surprisingly unexpected beginning to the year. Imagine the year ahead. *arched brows*.
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