Eulogy of Ingratitude ^^
Ribbons of Colors
Bringing Joy & Happiness
But why oh why,
Is the forest green missing
From my wonderful gift of ribbons?
Orange and Red
A cutsy cat
With a turban
To grace the bathroom door
But why oh why,
Does it come not in pairs?
Famous Amos Cookies
Delicious fragrance
Wonderful texture
But why oh why
Did it have to be
In a heart shaped vessel?
Red and Black
Dress bag
Wonderful for a great night out
But why oh why
Did the rich colors not come
In a better design?
A Precious Moment Cup
With a lid for holding drinks
Nice material and great gift box
But why oh why
Did it have to be so sweet
And unsuitable for me?
Brazillian coffee bean
Coated in Chocolate
Exotic and rare
But why oh why
Did such a gift come
To a non-caffeine drinker?
A cheerful yellow
Backpack on a teddy bear
So adorable it look
But why oh why
Did it come with a
Gaudy necklace?
Oh the wonders of Christmas
For wondering why
Gifts are selected so unsuitably
Oh the wonders of Christmas
For showing ingratitude
To all the thoughtful gestures
Oh the wonders of Christmas
For being rude and wicked
To all who were so nice
Oh the wonders of Christmas
For a eulogy
To insult all the gift buyers
For while the gifts may lack perfection
But what in the world is really perfect anyway?
So bear with the ingratitude
For in the insults
My gratitude is shown
Thank you.
Kel. 30 December 2004.
:::
Dear Evilness in Black (Yours truly would like to write to Mr HoHoHo but red and white is really so not my color)
Gratitude is really not yours truly’s cup of tea or coffee but yours truly is compelled to admit that she did have a marvelously good time for Christmas and had tons of spoils of war – did I say spoils? I’m sure I must mean gifts. *nod earnestly*.
Yours truly would like to give a list of spoils, I mean gifts, for next year too. It pays to be early in demands. Yours truly is aware that the clan of Evilness is big and always growing. Besides, demands must be aired and heard and than demanded again. So rest assured, dear Evilness, you will hear from me again.
Now, back to Christmas, so thank you, oh evil one, for the sappy movies and frivolous waste of time with dear *Starry. It might not be intellectually stimulating but oh boy, at least it was fun. Sure beats riding a sledge pulled by reindeers in a stuffy and hot red coat with white trimmings to give out presents every year. Oh boy, poor fellow. Imagine such torture every year, year in and year out, when he could be enjoying a nice cup of hot chocolate and watch flicks and share jokes. *shake head* I bet he really got the short end of the lot when someone above gave out job allocation. Poor fellow.
Now having compared the poor Mr HoHoHo’s Christmas to yours truly, spent in the warmth of home and hearth, surrounded by family and dear *starry, remembered in gifts from mere acquaintances, yours truly is truly astonished at Dear Evilness’ ingenuity. You provided your faithful follower aka yours truly with no over-hyped hallmark sentimental crap that is really just meant for commercial profit making, but you delivered a subtle and enjoyable Christmas and long weekend without any pre-planning or much effort on yours truly’s part.
For that, thank you.
Having written all this crap, dear Evilness, you know what yours truly really wants, don’t you? Yours truly would like perfect gifts next Christmas, and as enjoyable, if not more fun, sleepovers. Yours truly did enjoy Christmas. It might have been simple and uneventful but it was relaxing and such simple fun to have *Starry over. So please remember to put yours truly on the top of next Christmas list for a great time and lotsa fun.Yes, yours truly is obeying the first rule of Evilness, being demanding and greedy. So sue me but don’t forget, you owe me years of Christmas happiness to measure and match up this year’s joy.
Insulting as always,
Yours truly.
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